Don't Lock Your Heart Away
by confessorlove
Summary: Spoilers for 5x11 Neal knows what his heart wants. Rachel knows he's changed her for the better. The question is does she want Neal or the diamond more. When he decides he wants both she and the diamond, who is she to say no? After all, Rachel Turner never expected to fall in love, but Rebecca Lowe did. They are one and the same now. How could she resist?


It might be a trap. That was what Rachel kept telling herself even as she texted Neal the time and place to meet her. She told herself that over and over while she waited in the shadows of the abandoned hotel. If he wasn't on time she'd be gone. The longer she waited in a place he knew where she would be, the less time it would take for the feds to track her down. That was the last thing she would have wanted. Idly she wondered exactly how much evidence they even had to pin on her. Perhaps possession of fake ids and stalking, but she doubted there was much else that they could make stick. Of course, if they found out her true identity and caught her, she knew MI5 would be demanding her return to the UK to face charges of treason. That sounded even less appealing than a little time in a cell here.

The sound of footsteps alerted her to Neal's presence and she slipped from the shadows. Her thumb brushed along the USB drive in her hand. It was a fair trade. The diamond was worth millions and yet he was giving it up for this. She was on guard. After what happened in the park she couldn't be too cautious. It was a mistake to get so close. Never before had she let herself believe. Never before had she fallen in love. It turned real. It didn't matter that Rebecca Lowe didn't exist. Rachel Turner did. They were one and the same. Neal saw past her façade. He saw who she really was, the woman she had forgotten about for so long.

She slipped from the shadows and around the corner. Neal was there, coming towards her, and she refused to let him see how much he hurt her. "No FBI outside?" Suddenly the weight of her gun tucked into the back of her pants felt like a burden. She didn't want to be forced to use it.

"You know I don't want the Bureau getting ahold of that video," Neal replied matter of factly.

That was true enough. The contents of that USB drive could have sent Neal back to prison for a very long time. "Regardless, as long as you're on that anklet I'd rather not linger." She came to a stop in front of him and quickly added, "Where's my diamond?"

Neal held up a folded slip of paper. "The location's in here."

Even though she held out her hand for it, Rachel couldn't help but wonder if it was a trap. Maybe he wasn't really giving her the location. She wanted the diamond, but she also had no use for the blackmail. Even if Neal was lying to her she couldn't bring herself to use it. Against her better judgment she'd grown to care about him too much.

"You're turn," Neal finished then without putting the paper in her hand.

A smirk formed on Rachel's lips as she watched him. He didn't trust her anymore. That was something she couldn't blame him for. The trust they'd built on lies had been blown down like a house of cards in a light breeze. It had been temporary and yet she'd been willing to give up everything about her life for him. Quickly, Rachel showed Neal the USB drive and stepped towards him. "You're giving up millions and millions of dollars for this one little video," she said as she approached him before she reached out for his hand. "You must really want it." Rachel put the USB in his upturned palm and suddenly felt as though a weight was lifted. That blackmail was no longer her burden.

"Looks like we both got what we wanted," Neal replied. If only he knew how wrong he was. True, she wanted the diamond but she wanted him more. It was never supposed to be like this and yet something had turned the tables on her. It was unexpected but not unwelcome.

She reached for the slip of paper and pulled it towards her, but Neal suddenly pulled it back. She opened her mouth to speak but he beat her to it. "Come with me. Let's get the diamond together."

In that instant she had hope. Maybe everything wasn't lost. Maybe he still loved her, but she couldn't risk it. He was in the FBI's pocket. It was a shame. He was everything she wanted. For the first time in her life she had felt like she truly meant something to someone. Even if he was being honest with her now, she couldn't believe him. Her voice was soft as her gaze remained locked on his. "Why would I do that?"

"Because you want to be with me and you know I want the same thing," he replied without hesitation.

Their gaze didn't break but she felt her heart do it instead. She wanted to go with him so badly. Rachel didn't know if there was anything she had ever wanted quite so much, and yet her instincts for self-preservation wouldn't let her falter. "I know you want that diamond," she said skeptically while she continued to assess his reactions. She knew all his tells. He couldn't lie to her.

Neal shook his head. "It stopped being just about the diamond a long time ago." She felt her eyes begin to tear up and she forced herself to remain composed as he continued. "We can have everything that we want. There's nothing in our way anymore," he insisted.

If he was telling her the truth, he was right. Together there was nothing they couldn't accomplish. Unfortunately he'd already betrayed her once. She couldn't let that happen again. "Except that I can't possibly believe you." The words broke her heart to say, but deep down she knew it was the truth. She tugged the paper away from him and turned around without another word. Rachel refused to let him see her vulnerable.

"Take it."

His voice stopped her and she spun around to face him again. Even though her face was masked with composure, inside she was falling apart.

Once she was facing him, Neal continued. "I don't care anymore." His eyes betrayed him and in a way she was glad. There was no anger or hatred there. It was love. He looked as close to tears as she felt. "Just come with me," he said and Rachel could have sworn that the infamous Neal Caffrey was begging her to stay.

It was wrong of her to believe him. Nothing he could say would erase the fact that he helped the FBI trap her and yet she couldn't stop herself. Neal was there looking more vulnerable than she had ever seen him. He wanted her and she believed him. Love was weakness, but with him it almost felt like strength. Rachel walked towards him and pushed the USB drive away before her lips crashed into his. Her arms wrapped around his waist and his hand found its way into her hair was she let herself get lost in how right it felt to kiss him. It was different. Nothing ever had felt like this before. Neal managed to stir something deep inside her that she wouldn't have believed existed. With him she felt alive. With him she felt like the woman she was before her life took a turn. He helped her remember.

Rachel nipped his lip as their kiss intensified and Neal's hand rested on her hip to pull her close. His fingers slid lower and curved around her ass in an almost possessive way. He didn't want to lose her. She knew that just as well as she knew that she didn't want to lose him. Rachel pressed close and slid her arm up his back until her lungs were burning for air. She couldn't breathe yet she didn't care.

Only once she broke away did she gasp for breath as Neal's forehead came to rest against hers. His hand cupped her cheek tenderly and she saw nothing but lust in his gaze. In some ways it surprised her, knowing that he now knew the truth but in other ways it sent a rush of heat through her body. Neal playfully bit down on her lower lip and she softly gasped before her lips twisted into a wicked smirk. "Rebecca," Neal murmured as his hand lightly squeezed her ass.

"Neal," she replied as she gripped the front of his jacket in her hands. Her name wasn't Rebecca yet it fit her better than Rachel ever did. She was Rebecca Lowe. Rachel Turner died the moment she started falling in love with her mark.

"I told you. We can have everything." His lips lightly ghosted over hers and she involuntarily shivered at the contact as her eyes briefly fluttered closed.

Rachel wanted to believe him. She really did. Everything she wanted was right within her grasp. Neal. The diamond. A future. It was all there. All she had to do was reach out and take it. Slowly the corners of her lips curled up into a smirk. "There's nothing that could stop us now."

His kissed her then, softly and chastely. "You're right."

Of course she was right. They both were. Together they would be unstoppable. Neither one of them could deny that. They could get the diamond and disappear together. They would be set for life. The chaste kiss only added fuel to the fire of lust burning inside her already and Rachel kissed him again. It was needy and insistent as she parted his lips with her tongue and gripped his hair in one hand tightly. Maybe it was too early to celebrate but she almost couldn't help herself. Neal's hands roamed her body, one gripping her breast through the fabric of her clothing while the other caused her gun to clatter to the ground. The sound halted her for only a moment before it registered and she allowed herself to be vulnerable. For the first time in her life, Rachel allowed herself to love and be loved.

Neal's hands pushed her jacket off before she knew what was happening and she had a chance to take back control. The black material soon joined her gun on the floor of the abandoned hotel but she gave it little thought. He was the focus of her thoughts now. There was nothing and no one else. In turn Rachel pushed his jacket off and let it fall to the ground before she began backing him towards the old red couch that had been pushed against the wall and forgotten when the hotel was abandoned years ago.

Only once they reached it and Rachel was certain Neal and nowhere to go but to sit on it, did she break the kiss. Her lust filled eyes searched his and she pushed on his shoulders until he was sitting. "We shouldn't do this here," Neal said but she could hear any actual protest in his tone.

Rachel straddled him in one swift move. Her knees were on either side of his lap as she looked down into his eyes. "No, but that just makes it better." She kissed him again then as she pressed her hips down against his. It was obvious that he wanted her and that only made her want him more. Eagerly her tongue explored Neal's mouth as her fingers ran through his hair. She could forget easily where they were. It didn't matter anyway so long as they were together.

When she finally broke the kiss Neal bit down on her lip almost hard enough to draw blood in an attempt to take back control. She couldn't help but chuckle as she pressed her hips down against his, eliciting a groan from him as she felt his erection through his pants. "All's fair in love and war, Neal."

"You are a wicked woman," he replied as his hand slipped beneath the fabric of her tank top to rest on the small of her back.

Her smirk only widened. "So I've been told." Rachel's fingers curled into the fabric of his t-shirt before she started pushing it up his torso. She pulled the offending garment over Neal's head once he moved his arms to let her, before she leaned towards him. Seductively she bit down on the shell of his ear. "I can be a very wicked woman, Neal." Her breath was warm against his neck and then she kissed the spot just behind his ear. It wasn't hard to remember the things that brought a reaction from him. With time she'd learn to play him like a violin. There was no doubt about that.

Greedily Neal's fingers gripped at her tank top as he tugged it up her body in one swift movement. Soft fingers brushed along her bare skin and sent shivers of desire racing up her spine in a way she had no hope to stop. However, Rachel was quick to take back control whenever she felt herself slipping. It would be so easy to let him win, but she couldn't. It may not have been a game, but still she needed him to realize that she had the control. Betraying her again would only end poorly.

She sat back and smirked at him before his hand could reach her breast. Rachel pushed him back down so he was laying back and her ginger hair fell over her shoulder and the obscene amount of freckles that coated her skin. "Rebecca," Neal murmured as his hands reached up to touch her. Unfortunately she was not having it. Her fingers wrapped easily around his wrist as she pushed it back down.

Her waves tousled around her face as she shook her head. "Neal." Rachel slid her free hand down his chest until she reached the fly of his pants. She worked the button free and pulled the zipper down carefully. When she lifted her hips so she could pull his pants down slightly, Rachel noticed something silver glinting in the light where it was sticking out from his pocket. Curiosity overcame her and she pulled out the cool metal handcuffs. Her brow rose instantly and surprise was clearly evident on her face. Maybe Neal had intended to trap her for the FBI, but it was clear that wasn't his intention anymore. "Why Neal," she murmured cheekily as she grinned and dangled the cuffs from her fingertip. "These will come in handy."

"Rebecca?" His brow rose and confusion was etched on his face, but she ignored it. Quickly she clasped the cuff around Neal's wrist. She then locked the other cuff around her own wrist. Neal tugged on the cuff before he interlaced his fingers with hers. "Handcuffs?"

She shrugged slightly before she rose from her place above him to step out of her boots and wiggle out of her pants. "Now you're stuck with me." He chuckled and she watched as his eyes raked over her as she stripped down to her bra and panties. They were in a public place but Rachel could have cared less. No one came here. They wouldn't be caught. Only once she had tugged Neal's pants down part of the way did she resume her previous position. She straddled his lap and kept her cuffed hand in his while the other braced against his chest.

Neal's free hand rose to slide along her side. His touch was soft and Rachel couldn't help but revel in it before she leaned down to capture his lips in hers. The softness of Neal's touch swiftly turned needy as he gripped her hip and her tongue explored his mouth. Their cuffed hands stayed interlocked but her other one found its way into his hair. Eagerly Rachel rocked her hips against Neal's. There was nothing but two thin fabric barriers separating them and that only made her ache for him. Again and again she rocked against him as warmth spread through her body. Heat and passion fueled her desire as their joint hands squeezed each other's. Rachel couldn't get enough.

Only once her lungs were burning for air, threatening to suffocate her, did she pull back. The light was dim but she could see everything. She could see the flush of his skin and the way his pupils dilated as he gazed up at her. It only fueled her desire. Rachel ran her free hand down his torso as she leaned in to kiss his neck. "You like this," she whispered against his ear before she placed a sucking kiss to the lobe and her hand slipped between them to free his cock from his boxers. Her hand wrapped around the shaft and he bucked towards her as he sucked in a breath. Eliciting reactions from Neal was one of her favorite things and it brought a smirk to her lips. "I knew you liked it," she breathed out against his neck as her hand slowly stroked his shaft.

Each time his length twitched in her hand it sent a flood of arousal through her system. Warmth seemed to gather low in her belly and she couldn't contain it. He was irresistible and she had fallen hard. Now he was hers. Rachel's thumb swirled over the head of his length and he gasped in response. "Rebecca," Neal groaned and she nipped his lip sharply in response. Her name on his lips was music to her ears that she would never tire of.

Rachel kissed him again then. She swallowed each of his moans as his free hand reached behind her to slide his hand up her spine. When his fingers danced along the band of her bra she knew he was contemplating unhooking it, but he decided against it, it would seem. Instead his fingers found purchase in her long ginger hair. Never before had she needed him so badly as she did in those moments. Everything about this situation made her blood run hot with both the lust she felt for him and the hurt his betrayal had left on her heart. Regardless, she was aching for him.

When she broke the kiss and released her grip on Neal's length, he whimpered in protest but said nothing else. He knew that the best was yet to come. He had to know that. Quickly Rachel moved her hand between her legs and pushed her panties to the side. She was wet for him and her fingers slid briefly through her folds and sent a tingle of desire rushing up her spine. With the panties pushed to the side, Rachel quickly lowered herself onto his length and groaned at the feeling of being joined with him. Her hear tipped back and she moaned from the pleasure of it. This was exactly what she had wanted.

Instinctively she brought her fingers up to his lips and brushed her essence against them. Without hesitation Neal licked his lips and sucked her fingers into his mouth as she rocked against him. It was a rush they couldn't deny. Doing it there only made it better. His cuffed hand gripped hers tightly while the other gripped her ass as she rode him. Neal's eyes were darker than the blackest soul as she gazed down into them and it would have been so easy to get lost there. She could have stared for days and days. No one could have faulted her. Neal was something else entirely, but soon enough those thoughts were pushed away so she could focus on pleasure. Her lips found his again, needy, lustful, and demanding as she parted them with her tongue insistently.

Racing hearts beat in tandem as Rachel gyrated and rocked her hips against his. She was burning for him, aching for him. The passionate lovemaking they had shared in his apartment had nothing on this. The grip of his hand on her hip was almost bruising and her free hand tugged on his hair. He betrayed her once and now she was in charge. Neal had to realize that. She broke the kiss with a gasp before her mouth dropped to his neck and she bit sharply down on the delicate spot behind his ear which had always made him groan. "Fuck," he cursed almost instantly as his hips bucked in response. Rachel's internal muscled contracted around him and she struggled to pull him in deeper.

A smirk formed on her lips as her tongue lightly traced the spot she had just bit. "Did that hurt?" Her voice was nothing but a whisper but the hitch in his in response sent another flood of arousal through her as she rocked faster against him. Rachel placed and open mouthed kiss to the spot as she allowed her free hand to slide along his side. She wanted to touch him everywhere. She wanted to explore every inch of his body. They would have time for that once they had the diamond, Rachel reminded herself. This was something else.

Neal's breath became more and more ragged just as hers did. Rachel moved quicker against him and lightly dug her fingernails into his chest. His hand continued to grip her hip and then her breast as it traversed everywhere it could touch. It set her body aflame with aching need that threatened to burn unchecked.

"Rebecca," Neal moaned and she could have sworn he was nearly begging.

There was no pride in that. There was nothing but her carnal desires that matched his own. Faster and faster she moved against him. Sweat formed on their skin as he bucked up to meet each of her movements and they both grew closer and closer to their own release. She couldn't take it but then his hand slipped between her legs and made quick circles over her nub. That was all it took until she threw her head back and moaned in unabashed pleasure. Her core clenched around him as she came, trembling aftershocks wracked her body until she felt him hit his release and spill deep inside her.

Her body felt limp, boneless, and relaxed as she sagged against Neal and he lightly trailed his fingers along her spine. Her hair fell like a fiery curtain around them to shield them from the world. Unfortunately it would only last so long.

Ever so slowly her breathing returned to normal and Rachel lifted her head to smile down at Neal. It was a true smile. There was no ulterior motive and no hatred. All the feelings she had felt for the man beneath her were real. She shifted off him and let him slip from inside her as they both groaned at the loss. Neither one seemed to want to speak for fear it would break the spell, but eventually Neal did. What he said was not what she had been expecting. "We forgot the condom."

That drew Rachel's attention and she frowned slightly. Her shoulders rose and fell in a shrug and she smiled reassuringly at him despite the fact that she was anything but reassured. "It'll be fine." It would be. There was no other alternative that she would accept.

Neal nodded slightly and sat up then. He reached into his pants pocket and procured the keys to the handcuffs. It took only a moment before his wrist and hers were both freed. However, Rachel didn't take her hand back. She rested it on his thigh as she watched him. "What now," Neal finally asked as his eyes met hers and pierced right into her heart.

"We work together. We find the diamond. Once we have it we leave this life behind us together." It seemed so simple when she stated it like that. It didn't matter that she was on the run from the FBI. They could figure that out. In the end it would all work out. It had to.

"Together," Neal echoed and then he kissed her.

From that moment on, Rachel was truly gone and Rebecca knew that she could trust him with her heart. There was nothing more dangerous than that.


End file.
